Can you die of a broken heart? Unhappy Valentine’s Day...

Unhappy Valentine’s Day?

On this so-called day of love, many people will not be feeling ‘loved up’ and busy enjoying tender and romantic moments. Valentine’s Day can often negatively trigger those who are unhappy in their relationship or single, to feel even more alone, unloved or unlovable. For those suffering a recent break-up, it might feel seriously like the end of the world.

So, is it possible to die of a broken heart? Well, the answer is YES! Emotional distress of any kind can actually kill you. Our physical health is so directly impacted by our emotional well-being and it’s been scientifically proven that the stress of extreme grief can take a bad condition and turn it into a deadly one.

Broken Heart Syndrome

There is a medical condition called Broken Heart Syndrome or stress-induced cardiomyopathy, which can strike even if you’re healthy. It is often misdiagnosed as a heart attack as the symptoms and results are so similar. Tests show dramatic changes in rhythm and blood substances typical of a heart attack, yet there’s absolutely no evidence of blocked arteries.

It can happen when a traumatic event triggers a surge of stress hormones putting the sufferer in short-term heart failure which is potentially life-threatening. It could happen after the death of a loved one or a divorce, breakup or physical separation, betrayal, or romantic rejection. It could even happen after a positive shock, such as winning the lottery.

This is not a new thing, of course. In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Lady Montague dies of a broken heart following her son Romeo's banishment. According to Lord Montague, “grief of my son's exile hath stopp'd her breath.”

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

So why is love so important? Being in love causes our body to release feel-good hormones and neurochemicals that trigger specific, positive reactions. Our levels of dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine dramatically increase when we are in love. Oxytocin, a hormone released through physical contact like hugging, kissing and sex, deepens attachment and produces powerful sensations of contentment, calmness, and security.

When we ‘fall in love’, there are many physical symptoms that come into play. Have you ever felt your heartbeat speed up, palms sweat, or stomach churn at the sight or thought of someone you love? This will be due to a rise in your cortisol levels, putting the body into fight-or-flight mode. Your limbic (emotional) brain activates the vagus nerve that goes from the brain to your gut. When you get nervous or excited, this nerve is stimulated and activates the gut resulting in butterflies.

Heartbreak Hotel

Experiencing the loss of an important relationship is traumatic and can feel awful for months - even years.  Mostly due to the same stress hormones that mess with your immune system — adrenaline and cortisol — other physical symptoms of heartache can occur. Adrenaline is the hormone that keeps us edgy and anxious and can cause insomnia – making life quickly seem overwhelmingly difficult.

Our brains also lose that regular supply of positive neurotransmitters that come with closeness, security and love, and we go into neurological withdrawal. This is how broken hearts break brains. The loss of these chemicals can make us feel really depressed and isolated.

When a Man Loves a Woman

In spite of the stereotype that men are less emotionally invested in relationships than women, a recent study has found that men are in fact more likely to experience deeper emotional pain than women following heartbreak and less likely to seek help. Men are also more likely to quickly rebound into a new relationship especially if they are struggling to admit or share their feelings of loss due to shame. This can often lead to men feeling even more isolated and out of control.

What becomes of the brokenhearted?

Here are a few useful tips for helping to heal a broken heart:

1.    Take time to grieve and be gentle to yourself

2.    Find or rediscover new sources of joy

3.    Make a list of what you and others like about you and

keep the list close as a reminder

4.    Take time to acknowledge thoughts and feelings – no denial!

5.    Express your needs and difficulties to close friends or family

6.    Avoid rushing into another relationship before you have healed

7.    Use exercise regularly to help you, your mind and your body feel good

Love Me Tender…

Finding love is one of life’s greatest joys but can often seem elusive. Staying in love can be even harder. Needing to work on relationship issues with hypnotherapy and NLP is very common amongst my clients as giving and receiving love is so closely linked to our sense of self-worth. Hypnotherapy can help re-write the story of past romantic failures that hold so many people back and help with gaining the inner confidence needed to be vulnerable, honest and open – all essential ingredients in any successful relationship.

I Want to Break Free

Often, it’s our experiences of love in our early years that hold us back. When we are young, we are unconsciously learning about relationships, especially with siblings and parents, that can leave us feeling unworthy of love or unsure of ourselves. A child’s mind can also misinterpret relationships and make negative decisions about trust, friendship, or love without us being aware. Hypnotherapy techniques can unravel these and update them to an adult’s viewpoint. It can be like pushing a reset button, clearing the way for more fulfilling love adventures, free from old habits and more childish mindsets.

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?

If you struggle with letting people get close to you, hypnotherapy techniques can help you uncover the unconscious reasons why and support new patterns of more helpful behaviour. Getting hurt in love is always a risk we have to take, but if we work on our sense of self and resilience, it will always be a risk worth taking.

Call Me

If you are suffering from heartbreak, loneliness or anxiety about your relationships, find out more about cognitive hypnotherapy; www.alisonscottcognitivehypnotherapy.co.uk

Or call me for a free introductory chat – 07989 535527.

I wish you all a loving day!

“A loving heart, a heart full of love, is the precious

essence of human life.”

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (from Love and God)

Happy Valentine’s Day